Being a mom of all girls is mentally rough. Think about it, you are setting the prime example of how they should act as ladies. You are their role model so take this moment and think to yourself....
What type of example am I setting for my daughters?
Am I being the mom I needed at their age?
How is my relationship with my mother or mother figure?
Am I showing them how to act towards their mother?
I literally work on this every single day! I know my girls are watching me and I make sure I do certain things on purpose to show them how to behave or act in certain situations. Most importantly i make sure that my relationship is unique and different with each one of them.
What do I mean?
Each one of my girls needs me in a different way. They express their love differently so I have to love them differently. No, I do not love one more than the other, for those wondering. Just like adults, children have their very own love language. Once you figure out what your child’s love language is, the easier it is to connect with them.
Maiya likes to please everyone and she stresses herself out trying to do things that will make others happy, like her momma. I have to make sure I am always telling her how proud I am of her and how amazing she is. Aaliyah is completely different, she can care less what others think but is very independent. She wants to do everything herself so showing her how to do things is our way of connecting. Aria is still little but she is very affectionate. She doesn’t care how busy you care you better make some room for her on your lap. All three of them need me in a different way so I have to be able to connect with them on their level even if it’s not my love language. That’s what we have to do.
For those who do not know what love languages are; They are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.
I’ve mentioned a little about how strict my parents were with us and how that has played a big part of how I behave today. So the moment I became a mom I vowed to make myself approachable enough where they can talk to me. Don’t get me wrong, we do have boundaries, ask Maiya, she is aware of our boundaries. However, it is important that we have a relationship open enough where our daughters are talking to us and strict enough where they respect us as their mother.
So if your struggling to have a connection with your daughter I would recommend, evaluating your relationship with your mom or mom figure. Do they see you have a relationship with your mom? Then find out what your daughters love language is. I’m not an expert but having three girls of my own has really taught me how to pay attention and learn how to speak to them.
I will soon be a mom of a teenager and now more than ever I have to make myself more approachable to her, but that’s a post for a different day!
Happy Mother’s Day