You truly never know someone’s journey and what they have gone through to get to where they are today. Some are open to discussing their journey and others may not be. We have to be mindful of this.
It never fails. Every time I meet someone new and they find out I have 3 girls the first question they ask is if I am going to try for a boy? My answer is a quick NO, and I will explain why. At first, when we found out that we were having another girl, before she was even born people would ask that question and it would bother me. I would say things like, “ Do you guys think I’m a hamster, just having babies left and right? The odds are really not in our favor anyway since I have 3 girls already so I think it’s safe to say that 3 is enough. However, I have realized that maybe the reason why people continue to ask me that question is because they truly do not know my story and what I have gone through to have all my girls. To me raising queens is an honor, I get the opportunity to raise women of God that will one day become successful women, wives and mothers while always putting God first.
Can you imagine trying so hard to conceive and everyone around you is announcing they are having a baby? Putting on a happy face for others but crying on the inside because I couldn’t do what I was created to do. Negative test after negative test, month after month. it took a toll on me emotionally.
It took 8 years, 4 doctors and LOTS of prayer (like I was at the alter every week...not kidding). Eight years of medication, tests, blood work and poking for me to find out what was wrong. At 19 I guess no one felt it was important to explain to me a complication I had after my first baby. It took doctor number 3 to figure it out and she still didn’t do anything about it. My last doctor was a high risk pregnancy doctor and my option was, Surgery! A word I haven’t heard in all the 8 years of struggle. Surgery to correct the issue! Something that could have been done 8 years ago to prevent the struggle. As I sit here remembering all of this I now realize that I had to go through that struggle. I had to be emotionally broken to understand how to operate in faith. Every time I wanted to give up I would find another doctor. I didn’t accept “no” as an answer. Faith without works is dead!
Eighteen days after my surgery I went in for a check up and till this day I remember a nurse come in behind the doctor and say, “Nothing is impossible, you are pregnant.” FINALLY!
With this pregnancy we found out that the baby was breech and I would have to have a C-Section. Another surgery! This was the most scared I have ever been. I did not know what to expect. My first was as natural as it can get and now I have be cut open! Marcus was a great supporter he was there with me the entire time. The moment they allowed him to come in the room and he held me hand i could do anything but cry. I was having surgery to bring the baby I have prayed for into the world. When I held her it felt like my life was complete. She didn’t cry either she just watched everything and everyone. God blessed us with a strong willed baby girl.
We named her Aaliyah meaning To Rise!
GOD WASN’T DONE YET.
Eighteen months later during the toughest part of our lives, moving into our first home and starting a crucial part of our ministry, God blessed us with baby number 3. This pregnancy was my shortest and toughest, our baby girl came into this world at 36 weeks via c section being only 5 pounds 17 inches long.
We named her Aria meaning Lion of God!
The worst thing you can ever do is go through a journey like this alone. I want you to understand that I chose to go see the doctors by myself because I wanted to be vulnerable by myself. I didn’t want Marcus to see me like that. Marcus has always seen me be strong and positive. So I chose to do all of this alone which was the worst thing I could have done because I bottled everything up. I held it all in until It got to a point where I didn’t even want to discuss anything that had to do with the word baby or pregnancy.
Friend, if you are having a tough time conceiving and the doctors are telling you that nothing is wrong I am here to tell you not to give up! Change some things in your life:
•Change doctors •Take on less responsibility to eliminate stress •Ask questions •Do not take no for an answer! •Do your research and find out your options.
Will it be hard, YES! Will you cry, YES! Will you want to give up, absolutely! However you have to remember that it’s not when you want, it’s when God decides that you are ready. God will bless you even in the midst of chaos so just be ready for it.
This is my story and I am sure a lot of women have gone through something similar. Please be sensitive about pregnancy. Issues getting pregnant are becoming more and more common. It can tear you up inside. So be mindful the next time you ask.