I find it very hard to write about certain parts of myself because I don’t like to feel vulnerable. However, since we’re friends and I have chosen to accept my assignment to motivate you it is important that I expose a few things about ME.
Just like any other woman I have insecurities. Now, I don’t wear them on my shoulder because I like to focus on the positive side of things. As a woman, I am proud of whom I have become but that does not mean these insecurities don’t take a toll every now and then.
Growing up, I was bullied. I was that chubby girl with the thick glasses and frizzy hair. I had literally heard it all! Daily I endured every joke about glasses from both my friends and my family. The worst part is, my family thought it was funny because bad vision was common to them. We ALL wear thick glasses but after being teased as much as I was; I believe I have it the worst. You see my prescription is a -10. Mostly at school, my glasses were taken from me often and put on by others who would make comments about how “blind” I was. I cried a lot! Not because I didn’t like myself but because I was angry.
Once I entered into middle school it got worse because I had to wear braces. Yes BRACES!!!!!At this point, I had discovered hair products so NO MORE FRIZZY GIRL JOKES. Now I was the chubby girl with thick glasses and a metal mouth. I thought I would never get a break! It wasn’t until high school when my braces made me lose a significant amount of weight. After that phase my parents decided I was ready for contacts. Thank God!
As the days went on with me rocking my contacts the attention I got was immediately different. Honestly, it was a bit uncomfortable. I had no idea what this attention should feel like. See in my mind, I was the same person in high school that I was in grammar school; with the frizzy hair, glasses and braces. Yet, I looked different. I was instantly promoted to the category of what society pictured as a “pretty girl”. Nonetheless, my experiences with being bullied humbled me.
At the end of the day, I say all this because even now at 31 years of age the residue of my past insecurities tends to show up from time to time. I am still insecure about wearing glasses which is why you probably don’t see me in them unless something is really wrong with my eyes. In fact, I am still working on this part of myself and honestly it is the hardest part to overcome. But, I’m trying!! I realized though that I have no choice to accept the things I don’t like about my external self, (like wearing glasses) because if I don’t I won’t be able to see….haha!
No Seriously, I am not joking! This past month when I was told I couldn’t wear my contacts I literally contemplated wearing them while I was outside for a few hours. I just didn’t feel like dealing with the discomfort so I didn’t wear my glasses in public.
Fun Fact!!! Some may read this and say “they are just glasses you can wear contacts and no one will know!” Try explaining this to a 6 year old girl who believed glasses made her ugly.
You know the saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me!” This statement is so wrong! We are all human and words hurt the most. That’s why we have to make sure we are speaking positive about people and talking to people with good intentions.
“For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.”
1 Peter 3:10
We have to understand, myself included, that no one knows what we have gone through to get to where we are now. My stomach is not flat, but I have carried three beautiful babies and two of them came into this world via C-section. You may be afraid to write a blog because you may not be able to form sentences well but English was not your first language. You may be considered overweight or underweight by society but actually you are an athlete and your body is full of muscles. You’re just curvaceous! Or you don’t believe you are smart enough to go to college because no one in your family did. I think we know each other well enough for me to say...SO WHAT! All of this is what makes you who you are, embrace it and be the change! Yes! That means pursue your dreams and go get your degree. Your decision may inspire a family member to go back to school. You just never know!
What has helped me, is to think about the positive and remove myself from conversations that make me feel uncomfortable. You may not have daughters that look up to you but you may have friends who do and the way you live your life may motivate them to be a better version of themselves. I have to be strong for my daughters because I have to tell them they are beautiful and smart every single day. What example am I setting if i tell them they are beautiful but turn around and cry every time a comment is made about my height, my weight or my glasses?
Set the example, change conversations and be the light of positivity in someone’s life. Use your experience to guide you. Use your insecurities to motivate other women who cannot overcome their own. You may surprise yourself and truly overcome yours in the process.
What’s your insecurity?