The Talk

​With school back in session and our girls back to in person learning my worry level has been at its all-time high. Of course, I worry about social distancing, sanitizing, and praying I do not get an email from their teachers but this year something else has been added to my worry. This year I had to have the conversation I have hoped not to have anytime soon with my teenage daughter. I had to have the learn to love yourself first conversation.

Due to the pandemic my daughter did not have a High School Freshman experience.  Her Freshman year consisted of waking up and logging into her google classroom. This means that this year she will be stepping into a new school environment for the first time since 8th grade. She will experience the anxiety of finding her classes, learning her locker combination, finding time to switch out her books between classes, keeping her 3.9 GPA and making friends. No pressure, right? That’s the high school experience and I want her to have that. What I don’t want her to have is my high school experience. So while reassuring her that high school is going to be the best time of her life, I had to throw in that there is no rush to be in a relationship and about peer pressure.

The talk about boys has been brought up a couple of times so I figured that even though I was not ready to have the conversation, she was, so we did. Last thing I want is for her to get advice from someone else that does not have good intensions. I want her to come to me with what ever questions she may have regardless of how uncomfortable it may make me. So, we talked. We talked about how important it is for her to learn to love herself so when a boy expresses his interest in her she knows how she wants to be treated and loved. She knows how she should be talked to and that if she must prove how much she loves him, he is not the one for her. We talked about having an open communication and learning about each other so she can decide if he is someone she sees dating for a long time. We even talked about how she should respect her body and not feel pressure to do anything she does not feel comfortable doing.
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I know this conversation is the first of many and I believe what made this conversation easier to have is that I have made it my point to have an open relationship with my daughters. Parents, our children need us to pay attention to them and guide them. School will teach them about the books but if we let it, it will also teach them the hard way to do life. Instill in your children from the very beginning that even though you are their parent, you want the very best for them. Guide them without judgement, be there for them without question and listen to understand.
 
 Love Jomy